Tuesday, 27 March 2018

Why do we feel alone?

This is the generation of internet. And when I say internet I don’t mean all the important aspects of it like net banking or online booking and stuff like that which actually helped humanity someway or the other. But what i'am referring to here is those aspects of Internet we stanchly use like Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and all the so called “cool” applications which are most widely used across the globe using devices evolved through technology like mobile phones, Macbook, Macbook air, laptops etc.

Now there is no wonder as to why I am referring to all these apps with the title being “Why do we feel alone?”
I 100% wholly and deeply agree with the fact that the more this technology has narrowed down the world the more it has widened the gap between humans. I mean how rarely is it seen two humans interacting and having the time of their lives without looking at their cell phones even once. Very rarely right? 
Or even in a family. Four people are sitting in the living room busy chatting with four other people outside the living room, intentionally or unintentionally forgetting or maybe ignoring their own family members. Most of the times we are talking with the person sitting right across us and one beep, just one beep on our cell and we bow our heads down into another world forgetting the world and the place we’re currently into.

Now, a normal human has friends and family. They are like the most important aspects of any person’s life. A person talks with them, share his/her ideas with them, laugh with them, cry with them, eat with them, confront them, gets confronted by them. Now imagine these only lots of people who are more than important to you stop caring about you. I mean they do, they do care, but still there’s no one to talk, no one to cry with, no one to laugh with, everyone thinks you’re the one something’s wrong with. Everyone’s busy with their own life and career that you’re a mere priority to notice or care about. How would you feel? Lonely? Alone? Depressed?
Yes. That’s how depressed people feel. That’s how people who feel all alone go through. 
They are surrounded by 5 people but none of them worth talking to. None of them feels like the one who’d understand you or won’t judge you or give you that comfort you’ve been wanting since forever.  And I’m not saying that technology or internet is ‘the only’ reason behind such behavior of people. But it’s one of the most crucial reason behind how people interact with each other.

How you ask?

There are many ironical examples, real life examples that would make you feel sad as well angry at the same time. A person talks with his friend, rather I should say gossips with his friend on his cell phone for hours and hours about people who are happily living their lives. But when it comes to the brother or sister or spouse of that same person who is depressed as hell they literally goes unnoticed by that same person who doesn’t even bother to ask how’s their life's going? Or how was their day at college or work? And not necessarily he's doing it intentionally. But I mean if you have all the time in the world to talk about people who does not even belong to you, who are already happy in their lives and have people to take care of them; and you still can’t take like 10-15 minutes out of that “busy schedule” to talk to that one person who has nothing but you, who is depressed or feel alone and need someone to talk and who relatively belongs to you. Isn’t it sad? Doesn’t it make you angry? That’s how ironical technology has made our lives. 

Now, had it been the case that the person gossiping on the cell phone didn’t possessed any cell phone on the first place, wouldn’t the scenario be completely different? Every time their brother or sister or spouse or whosoever would come home, they would welcome them joyously and spend hours talking with them about their lives. This is just one of the hypothetical, could be possible or must have been the case with few people example. There are many other examples like these. People do go through some serious shit in their lives which are not under their control. The concept of FOMO is not a myth, it does exists. And your job is not to make anyone feel that feeling, or not to let them go through that phase.

Today in our virtual life we might be having thousands of friends on Facebook, thousands of followers on Instagram, but all of that is of what use when not even a single person in your real life can help you or wipe those tears off of your cheeks?

We measure our happiness with the number of likes on our new profile picture. We devote our time for all the entertainment of the world. But we ignore the number of times we ignored people who were breathing right underneath our noses while we were busy exploring Kim Kardashian’s Instagram feed. I know it's ironical that i'am ranting about internet by using internet or technology. But the point is, i'am not completely criticizing it. I'am criticizing the fact how people prioritize their time between real people in their lives and virtual people on the internet, or people far away who doesn't even know you. That's the whole point behind this blog.

Talking about priorities. There are very few selfless friends or people who prioritize a relationship, a friendship over their own needs. Career is good. Working hard for it is good. But that doesn’t mean it is everything. That doesn’t mean that you’ll ignore or see the people around you less or put them down. That doesn’t mean that you’re gonna hold a perception about them that they are gonna be with you only for those 2 or 4 or 6 years, and so you’re just gonna spend time with them like they are transient and treat them accordingly. No. You just can’t assume the span of time people are gonna stick with you. You’ve to treat them as if they’re your people, that they are gonna last forever, as long as they treat you the same way. 
As correctly said by the successful and well known author Robin Sharma, 
“At the end of your life, i don't think your life is gonna be measured in terms of success, or how much money you make, the carriage you drove, the home you lived in. I truly believe what will matter most when you're on your deathbed will be were you an instrument of service to as many people as possible? Nothing matters more than your impact on humanity."

 If you'll fit this sentence in your mind, you're definitely less likely to be the reason behind someones depression or someone feeling alone.

Now, what's the remedy?
Actually, it's simple and everyone, like each and everyone of us are aware about it. Talk about it. Very rarely you find people who understand the importance of talking and conversing with their friends. Cause honestly, the only cure to take one out of depression, or get out of depression or not feel alone is having a healthy conversation. Just talk. Talk it out. Say that it's that one thing you did this one time that i felt bad about. Sort it out. Ask people around you, if they're okay. Because they are just one talk away getting out of the loop of loneliness. Forgive people. Seek forgiveness. Be kind to humanity and the humanity will be kind to you.

-Tejal Sushir
(Instagram: @the_untamed_writer)

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